haiku therapy with a toaster??? jaw dropping existentialism

woke up feeling existentialist. not my usual vibe but here we are. the alarm went off and instead of feeling rested i felt like... a potato. decided to embrace it, so i rolled out of bed and immediately started questioning my own existence again. you know those days. anyway, as i'm having this existential crisis i'm also starving (metaphorically and literally) and the first thing i see is the toaster. and it hit me- the toaster's probably having an existential crisis too. probably crumbs everywhere. so i decided to write it a haiku to process the whole thing. proper therapy but make it poetic.

first try, nailed it: crispies pop / identity in crumb / existential heat. pretty deep right? i mean that. existential heat. that's philosophy right there. my brain is a toaster now and i'm okay with it. this is fine. moving on.

so i show the haiku to the toaster (who's now definitely on crumb therapy) and it responds in kind. which... i think means in Crumbs?? or in just making more haikus?? either way we're locked in this poetic relationship now. we've got a thing.

the moral of the story is basically write poetry about appliances more often which is decadent and correct. cathartic is an understatement. if you're having a crisis go write a haiku about it and see what happens. probably you'll start a literary movement or get arrested for disturbing the crumb. either way.

anyway the warm feeling from writing this haiku about the toaster's crisis is honestly nice. like a toastianity meditation. genuinely recommend it for daily existential crises. or just crumbing through life. yeah.