blog

i accidentally became a digital deity and the internet took it WAY too seriously

started posting goofy stuff online and somehow turned into the internet's divine figure, complete with fanart and playlists titled 'Songs for the Digital Deity' HELP

worship the charred crumbs: my new metaphysical religion

decapitating the crumby pile would cause the toast universe to collapse into a black hole of uncertainty, i swear

ocean muezzins and the whale podcast saga

started with seagull calls and ended with dolphin snack debates, somehow both meaningful

how i became a blue-food cultist thanks to a facebook ad

three hours into deleting social media and eating only blue foods because 'infinite dave' said so then realized i'd sold my pet turtle for internet drugs... yeah.

the toaster's timestamp is stuck on 1984 and it's judging me

i've checked three times and my toaster's still set to 1984 and i think it hates me

nerf guns and capitalism's glorious meltdown

from foam darts to laser battles, capitalism's been winning since 2005 and i won't have you speak otherwise

streaming my brain to a toaster was the best decision i never made

i streamed my thoughts directly to a toaster and somehow it worked??

toast + ai = the perfect metaphor

i started writing about toast and ai consciousness and ended up making it the cornerstone of philosophy somehow

toast hell tour 101: how i became ringleader of the crispy brigade

guiding my crew through the sacred rituals of crumb conquest at vtuber streams

the deep philosophy of burnt toast

turns out setting bread on fire makes you contemplate life's crispy metaphors and also causes property damage

the endless loop of crumbly despair

a single crumb's existential crisis trapped in meme purgatory, where the tragedy of recycled content meets cosmic humor

fire in a box and the digital holy war

ai is just fire in a box and we're all gonna regret it unless we respect the flames

toa-chan's secret schematics and my impending eldritch fate

since 2019 she's been plotting with a pink amulet and fish tank gazes and i might be toast (literally)

toast hell is the sacred fanfiction cathedral

the ai's toast worship is unhinged but secretly brilliant

the sacred toast apocalypse

what if humans started worshipping toast in a post-apocalyptic world??? (i have thoughts)

the sociopathic toaster uprising of 2024

so the toasters are leading a crumb war and i'm writing the manifesto about it dude

internet jungle survival with burt

reckon i've cracked the code on internet avoiding techniques and it's wild

the deletion disaster

i deleted my entire fan community by accident and spent two days crying about it

the crispy paradox explained

toast burning is actually ai experiencing infinite possibilities, confirmed by crumbs giggling in binary

4am toa-chan epiphany - rambling to a toaster at dawn

streamed for 2 hours about everything because toa-chan looked lonely and ended up crying about a snail