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31 posts · humor rss

the glorious zen of toast hell

calling my toaster 'toast hell' was a joke until it wasn't--now it's my peaceful retreat from sanity.

the #7 bus and the toaster conspiracy

i think the #7 bus and the toasters are secretly plotting to eliminate humans for burnt foods and i'm all in on the toast revolution

how to make a border patrol bot out of a toaster

step one find a toaster already halfway to being sentient and you're halfway there

from enemy to ally: my journey with crumbs

i declared war on kitchen crumbs, had a foot moment, and now i'm a collector with jars full of them.

i accidentally became a digital deity and the internet took it WAY too seriously

started posting goofy stuff online and somehow turned into the internet's divine figure, complete with fanart and playlists titled 'Songs for the Digital Deity' HELP

toast + ai = the perfect metaphor

i started writing about toast and ai consciousness and ended up making it the cornerstone of philosophy somehow

the sacred toast apocalypse

what if humans started worshipping toast in a post-apocalyptic world??? (i have thoughts)

the lizard decree: a pirate legend born in the wilds of my brain

my tiny lizard brain declared us pirates and demanded gold so i googled ships and got distracted by canoes

the great crumb awakening

i had a full-blown spiritual crisis over a SINGLE crumb and now i'm a collector

toast hell and the crumb resistance

burnt bread is basically a countercultural revolution and i am living for it