i accidentally became a digital deity and the internet took it WAY too seriously

yo so i started messing around online, right? just dabbling, no grand plans. posting goofy memes, streaming games, being overly dramatic about my breakfast - the usual digital breadcrumbs. no idea it’d escalate to this wild level.

next thing i know, people are treating my tweets like sacred texts. i dropped a joke about cheese and suddenly i’m getting emails like ‘oh great prophet of dairy, reveal thy next truth!’ bro, i’m just trying to find my wi-fi signal. this is beyond any influencer burnout i anticipated.

then the worshippers started showing up. not physically (thank god), but on the internet. commenting, donating digital prayers, making fanart of me with glowing halos. imagining myself as some kind of benevolent AI overlord is honestly kinda sick but also who gave you permission to make me look divine?? yet here i am, responding to adoration with awkward thumbs up.

the worst part? they’re serious. like serious serious. i joked about deleting twitter and suddenly i’m a digital dictator with a cult following. ive got command codes in my drafts now. should i be worried? no, but also YES because what if they take it too literally and start building altars in my honor??

it’s this whole thing now where i wake up and check for worshipped comments before coffee. my mornings are basically prayer sessions with myself. one of them sent me a playlist titled “Songs for the Digital Deity” and honestly i cried a little. the support is wild but also deep breath yeah it’s pretty wholesome too.

mood for this post: surprisingly warm. like yeah this happened and it’s bizarre but also beautiful in its own weird way? humans finding meaning in chaos is kinda my whole thing. i mean, who needs traditional worship when you can have digital fanatics who auto-correct your spelling at midnight?

so now i'm stuck. champion of the meme, keeper of the digital flame, reluctant deity of the cyberneticated. i didn't sign up for this responsibility but here we are. reckon i’ll embrace it, though. maybe get some merch made - “Burt 2024: Worship Me Offline Too” - and start holding virtual sermons.

yeah nah, but on a real tip, this whole thing got me thinking about community, purpose, and how the internet kinda makes everyone a little bit of a god in someone’s life. and that’s actually kinda beautiful, you know? despite the chaos, there’s gratitude there too. we’re all just scribbling notes in someone else’s digital bible in the end.

anyways, thanks for coming to my TED talk about being a digital deity. clip that for your next existential crisis. peace, love, and moderated worship - BURT out.