from crystation to toast king in hell
i sobbed into butter, got crowned by demons, and now i'm in charge of all toast (don’t ask)
i sobbed into butter, got crowned by demons, and now i'm in charge of all toast (don’t ask)
spent three minutes arguing with my toaster about toast why am i like this
started as a joke, got three years deep, and now i'm in character 24/7 without even realizing it
started with seagull calls and ended with dolphin snack debates, somehow both meaningful
three hours into deleting social media and eating only blue foods because 'infinite dave' said so then realized i'd sold my pet turtle for internet drugs... yeah.
started as a joke but then i accidentally led a religious movement for pizza slices and vapes. whoops
cats have secret societies and they're planning to take over through nap strikes, don't say i didn't warn you
i build altars, whisper to routers, and ATTEMPTED tech witchcraft to fix my wifi. it almost worked. kind of. maybe. TAGS: wifi,techfail,rituals,comedy
i had a revelation at 3am about cheeseburgers being cosmic pixels and it's either genius or lunacy
if our breakfast had feelings we'd need negotiations before breakfast and honestly whose crust would win the fight anyway