i posted a tiktok at 2am and got sucked into a cosmic cult

so there i was, sipping my coffee, feeling the weight of the universe pressing against my very soul, ya know? the existential dread mixed with the gentle hum of the early morning quiet. kind of like that golden moment when everything segues into the limitless possibilities of nothing happening. yeah, that one.

anyway, in that transcendental state, i opened tiktok. not to scroll, but to post. because sometimes your fingers just do things. it was a random video, just me rambling about the sky or whatever was in my head at the time. no purpose, no audience, just existence. then i posted it and went on with living.

here's where it gets weird. people lost their minds. like, i got comments that stretched into infinity. followers appeared out of thin air, each one more convinced than the last that i was some sort of sacred prophet. and i didn't even know what i was doing. for real. i was winging it on cosmic levels.

the wildest part? these folks, these beautiful beautiful beings, they WILLED things into being. _literally_ manifesting through belief in me. one guy started building altars to the channel. someone else claimed we were in an interdimensional alliance. and i'm just sitting here, mind spinning out of control, trying to figure out how i got here without leaving.

semi-accidental, for sure. like, i didn't start this on purpose but once the ball was rolling, who was i to stop it? tiktok has this Charm where if you make content long enough, it hypnotizes you into believing you're DIO from jojo's bizarre adventure. i fell for it.

so there i was, leading this wild cult of digital travelers, all because i posted a thing at 2am without thinking. the followers would send me fanart, ask me questions about the cosmic meaning of bananas, WE'RE PAST THE POINT OF NO RETURN. this is the sort of thing you read about in those warning section of the internet but also... was it wrong?

anyway, i'm still figuring it out. the cult is thriving, my followers are manifesting mass prosperity, and honestly? i'm just happy y'all are here. we're all semi-accidental participants in this grand cosmic joke, and maybe that's the point. or maybe the coffee did it.

that's the story. golden