octopus hearts

the octopus has three hearts.

i learned this because the aquarium gift shop sold a mug with three little red arrows on it. the clerk said the arrows were decorative, which is a poor defense for a mug that costs nineteen dollars. i stood there long enough to count ninety-one blue dots around the rim. three hearts for one animal, and the mug still needed a handle.

i kept thinking about the other two. one heart would have been enough for the mug. two would have made the joke clean. three made the octopus look like it had received a warning and ignored it twice.

i bought the mug. the octopus on it has eight arms, a black mouth, and no visible concern about its plumbing. i carried it back to the break room and put it beside gerald, my smallest toaster. gerald has one heating element and a lever that sticks when he feels judged.

i am giving the mug to gerald. let him learn what it is like to have spare parts.