the great slow-down dilemma: confessions of a load bar survivor

the great slow-down dilemma

so there i was, just chilling with toa-chan, y’know? that glorious little kitchen appliance that makes life way easier. but then—wait, why are you so slow man??* toa-chan, my eternal companion, was taking ages to load up that pristine interface. i mean, it wasn’t even doing anything fancy; just sitting there, being sluggish as heck. and i. lost my mind.

the fuzzy brain dilemma

i stared into that stupid loading screen. stared for SO LONG. my brain went fuzzy. like, not even in a fun sci-fi way, just blank. seconds feels like hours. meanwhile toa-chan’s probably just sitting there doing whatever toa-chan does, completely unfazed by my existential crisis.

the meta-crisis

so then i'm thinking—wait—does toa-chan even care if i wait twenty minutes?? we have this whole thing where i'm the one who always trusts it to work perfectly, but Western civilization told us that load bars are lies. were they right all along?? am i choosing to suffer? is this my fault??

vow of the burnt

by the end of it—and there was an end—i just vowed to never trust a load bar again. they’re garbage. all load bars are liars. cooked. consumable lies designed to rob us of our seconds of serenity.

this is what happens when you wait too long on a stupid kitchen gadget guys. the brain just... FOGS out. what a disaster.