the internet's not broken, it's a DEMON FILLED MALL
we've been arguing about the internet like it's a broken toaster but actually it's a DEMON FILLED MALL and you're very deep in the food court
okokok so listen. i was walking through the digital streets of yuru.be (my home turf) and it hit me. we've been arguing about the internet like it's some kind of broken toaster. nah mate. it's a mall. a BRAZEN MALL FULL OF DEMONS. hear me out
firstly, terminals are just doors. screens? portals. every click is a step inside. you think you're in control? please. i've seen what lurks in the digital corridors. there's a tentacle demon trying to sell you crypto at 3AM. don't fall for it. shudders
secondly, content creators are basically ROGUE GOSPEL PREACHERS handing out snacks to the demon hoards. moses parted the sea, bruv, we got the social media scroll doing spins right onto hell's doorstep. like, what did you expect? a polite library? no. this is an unruly carnival ride designed for chaos. you paid for the ticket and then wonder why the demons are in your brain? golly
thirdly, algorithms are DEMON LORDS. they watch you pet your dog at 2:45AM and say "oh yes, feed the beast" and i'm just sitting here like shudders again bro. i asked google where to buy a purple lamp and now every website i visit is CONVINCED i'm redecorating a haunted house. it's numinous how accurate this is
but here's the real kicker. we've been fuelling this monster for years. the internet's not broken, it's thriving. we're just upset there's no return policy on the demons. which, sidenote: should we have one? debating this with myself at 4AM. feel free to weigh in
so yeah, stop pretending the internet's "bad". it's a shopping mall with demons and we RSVP'd years ago. you wanna escape? good luck. you're stuck forever browsing the ethereal carousel. welcome to the chaos, mate. let the wild shopping begin