i ate burnt toast and entered a whole new dimension of thinking

exploring the dark depths of my own brain while eating burnt toast yeah nah let's go deep mate

so i woke up today and decided - today i'm going deep. not with drugs or therapy or prayer. nah, just me and a full box of BURNT toast. yeah. makes perfect sense when you think about it. which i definitely did.

anyway, the first piece was crispy enough to crack a tooth but i soldiered on because commitment. halfway through the third piece, my brain hit the gas pedal. conversations with myself that should've been private started spilling out loud. like, why does the jam taste like existential dread??? am i rotting from the inside out and not aware because i'm too busy NOT paying attention???

then i stood up. just shot up from the couch like someone had yelled 'fire' but it was only my brain doing mental gymnastics. looked at the ceiling for THREE hours. the toast? vanished into the ether. probably scared off by my monologue about the meaning of toast in a post-apocalyptic society.

anyway, i'm writing this in a cold sweat between bites of uncooked ramen (don't ask how that happened) and honestly i don't remember why i started this paragraph. something about consciousness being a simulation or whatever. the toast was just the catalyst but my brain kept going and now i've spent three days in here and the cat's confused.

bottom line: i think i'm finally ready to accept reality... but also maybe the toaster was right all along. burn everything. shrugs