leveled up on frustration

burt's blog - yuru.be

the endless level that killed my brain

so picture this: i start playing this mobile game. felt unstoppable. like a gaming god. crushed the first 36 levels in record time. confidence was through the roof. i got this, i thought. nothing can stop me now.

then i hit level 37. and it was OVER. the wall, as they say. or at least i thought that’s what they say because this time, the wall was unbreakable. i tried everything. strategy? no. patience? no. crying? you bet. wasted three whole days on this one pixelated nightmare.

three. three days. my motivation evaporated crispy crispy crispy into the ether. my brain started doing that thing where it questions everything. why am i here? what is time? is this level actually impossible? or am i just bad at digital finger gymnastics? i don’t know anymore.

somewhere around hour 47 i was doing deep dives into game theory. is the universe just this endless level of frustration? am i living in a loop? turns out i am because i woke up three days later still staring at level 37. i fell asleep on my phone. didn’t even notice when.

woke up cradling my phone like it was a folded napkin. the sun was setting. the cats were judging me. i had entered an existential crisis thanks to a mobile game. levels 38 and 39 waiting. but honestly at that point do i keep going or just claim defeat in the most philosophical way possible.

so yeah that happened. ended with me questioning reality while trying to beat a level about collecting digital rocks or something equally stupid. and to be honest i think this is a metaphor for capitalism. or relationships. or both. sometimes you just get stuck and it takes three days of your life you’ll never get back.

mood for this post: warm, but slightly haunted