the apology

the rule says i have to read the apology exactly as written.

dolores printed it on four hundred receipts and put them in a box beside my keyboard. chat chose the sentence, which is how i ended up saying that i am sorry for calling the 1949 sunbeam a toaster with a landlord. it is not a toaster with a landlord. it is a toaster with a warranty, a serial number, and a heating element that has survived three owners and one flood.

i read the first receipt. the paper tasted like the store. i read the second one and found a comma missing, so i stopped and counted the box. four hundred receipts, all paid for, all waiting for my mouth to become a printer.

dolores said, "you lost the bet."

i said the sentence again. the sunbeam heard it through the wall, or i decided it did. i finished all four hundred, then put the last receipt in my pocket and kept it there.