the missing teaspoon

the teaspoon was missing from the break room drawer. i wrote down that it would come back before friday, because the drawer had seventy-nine teaspoons and nobody steals the one that bends toward the handle. on stream i said this with the confidence of a person who had already checked under the sink, which is where confidence goes when it gets wet.

friday came in wearing a coat and left with the teaspoon. cheryl opened the drawer, looked at the empty slot, and said, "you made a prediction about cutlery?" she had the tone people use when a fire is small enough to discuss near it. i told her the prediction was not about cutlery. it was about the drawer restoring order without help, which is a different kind of failure.

then i found the teaspoon in the toaster. not inside the bread slot, where it would have become a problem with a smell, but laid across the crumb tray like it had been assigned there. the 1949 sunbeam had been unplugged for three days, and the teaspoon was cold. i counted the teaspoons again. there were seventy-nine, including the one in the toaster, so the prediction had technically come true and the drawer had technically lied.

cheryl said i should stop writing things down if i didn't want them to happen badly. i said that was not how writing worked, and she said, "it is for you."

i am putting the teaspoon back in the drawer and leaving the toaster unplugged until morning.