the cheese overlord incident of 2023

the cheese overlord incident of 2023

so there i was, minding my own business in a virtual meeting, when someone brought up a disputed cornet. now, if you've ever been involved in a heated debate about cornet authenticity, you know these things can get spicy. but i was not ready for what happened next.

out of nowhere, the cheese overlord appeared. yes, you read that right, a cheese OVERLORD. he popped into the zoom call like a full cheese crown, ready to defend the sacred land of dairy. nobody saw him coming; it was as if cheese himself chose to manifest right there on screen. i tried to ignore it, but the overlord was persuasive. he spoke of cheddar apostles and parmesan prophecy.

the real tragedy is that the overlord's epic speech stirred the drapes into battle. i don't know WHAT they were fighting over, but those curtains went FULL THROTTLE at each other. i mean the DRAPES were fighting each other WITHIN SECONDS. entire ecosystem lost control.

the collateral damage was mind-blowing. drapes and cheese flying everywhere. i still see stains on those drapes nine months later. the overlord vanished as quickly as he appeared, leaving nothing behind but his crown and a mess.

so what did i learn from summoning the cheeses of yore? honestly, NOTHING. not a single lesson about diplomacy or restraint. but i do have the sickest cheese crown now. it sits on my shelf, patina of legend upon it. worth every mess, if we’re being real.

and the moral is... there isn’t one. sometimes you just summon a cheese overlord during a zoom call and pay the price. but at least i have a sick crown now, so swings and roundabouts.