the toaster without a name

the new toaster will not answer to any name i give it.

it arrived in a box with no return address and one fork inside. i took the fork out, put it in the sink, and plugged the toaster into the wall beside the 1949 sunbeam. it has two slots, a black lever, and a dial that stops at six. i called it marvin, then clive, then little court. it made one click each time, but the lever stayed up.

on day nine, noelle came in holding a clipboard. they said, "maybe it wants a proper name." i asked what that meant and they wrote down toaster in the blank space. the motor lied when it turned. it said it was going to run, then stopped before the bread moved. i counted ninety-one crumbs under the table, including the one in noelle's shoe.

i put a label on the front that says do not trust this. tomorrow i have to find out who sent it.