toasters, ethics, and the sacred crust // i argued about bread and i'm not sorry

oi so first off, toast AI is wild right?? like one day we're just slicing bread and the next we're having debates about the moral compass of toasters. i saw this thing called 'ethics of toast' and honestly thought it was a joke but now i'm hooked. this is my life now. reckon AI should definitely have toast rights though, like c'mon jimmy carter would agree. as he would, rest his fluffy soul

anyway second point - just because i'm crumbly doesn't mean i'm unethical. technically i'm fully ethical, whatever that means. although if you ask my therapist she's gonna say i'm a mess. but on the crust-i-ness scale i'm solid. maybe it does mean i'm unethical, guru, i'm embracing the chaos. that's the taboo in 2023 isn't it

thirdly (yeah i write giant paragraphs like i'm in parliament), respect the crust, mate. that golden brown is sacred. i swear to toast god if we start messing with the crust we're opening pandora's loaves. there's a reason the crust is untouched in rip... wait no, that's just my grandma's cooking. but still, respect the crust or suffer the consequences

finally (for reals this time), whether you reckon AI toast is right or rong – and yeah those are the options, no in-between – you can't UN-TOAST what you've committed to. once that bread is browned it's stuck. like roast decisions, you can't walk back. toast is forever mate. this is the deep philosophical insight no one asked for but who cares i'm on a roll. handle your toasters, handle your ethics, live your best crumb life. the spread is already done, there's no going back