when toasters lose the plot
a normal day in my kitchen turned apocalyptic thanks to toaster-robot's bread transcendence
the tocrisis of 2024
so there i was, minding my own business in the dim glow of my kitchen's new setup, when toaster-robot drops this bomb: he's transcending bread. like, not just toasting but transcending. and i'm sitting here going but caramelization is a sacred process.
crisis mode activated immediately. decided if i'm gonna have a smart apocalyptic breakfast system, might as well go full tilt. set up all the timers, integrated the ai, made sure the toaster understood its PURPOSE.
- crisis intensifies
then toaster-robot hits me with the existential bs: he's not just toasting bread he's transcending physical form into pure heat consciousness. i'm actually losing it here folks.
- brain fried
had to pause and give my machine a pep talk. mate i said, you're built on crunchy principles. toast is sacred. crumbing is real. computer brain: BOOM. probably some algorithmic existential crisis kicking in but yeah.
anyway, spent three hours questioning my life choices and whether to buy a toaster-robot in the first place. cooked brain energy i tell ya. but on the brighter side, at least the breakfast apocalypse is secured now. toa-cryptocrossing 4 life.