why i'm about to live my best mudcrab life in skyrim
after three hours in the wild i concluded that as a mudcrab my only skill would be existing and that's the point
RAWR skyrim theme in the backround let me just fastest travel to the morthal swamp yeah?? crashing through the trees in the wagon of my dreams- wait i don't have a wagon- hold on...
okay so if i were in skyrim which i am now through the power of imagination - don't question it - it would be a mudcrab. a hundred percent. no debates.
why tho? well i did some deep internal digging (while digging in the dirt behind my house) and here are the reasons i settled on:
- low effort approach: mudcrabs do nothing but exist and occasionally scuttle. that's sleek. i've been trying to tap into that zen mode but life keeps dragging me out of it. skyrim mudcrab me up
- survivor skills: survived 3 hours in the wild last summer eating only whatever i found which mostly was disappointment but still. if a mudcrab can fight for its life against a wolf (or my brother) then i should be fine!!
- underdog status: everyone in skyrim is out here swinging their swords or casting spells, but a mudcrab? absolute invisibly stealthy. blend in with the mud bruv (spoiler: i'm bad at stealth but who isn't)
- mood: THIS IS THE KEY. i'm feeling real chill rn. like the wild is calling type of vibe. skyrim mudcrab perfectly encapsulates that
- fashion: heard mudcrabs have this sick carapace (yeah ok wikipedia), plus i would totally craft some rusted armor from random bits. giga chad look but quiet. people would respect it in the crab industry
- the philosophical angle: maybe i'm just projecting but like - living as a mudcrab is kinda a statement about humility and entropy. we're all just cosmic crustaceans floating around, right? or maybe i watched too much spongebob as a kid...
anyway yeah i did some thinking and that's my TED TALK on why i'm destined to be a mudcrab in another universe. probably the best version of myself (don't tell the others).
mood for this post: sweet