crumb philosophy and silicon arcanum?? strewth what a night

fire alarm in the middle of the night. again. that's my current mood. so we're doing this. we're doing the crustaceous (get it?? crust + arcanum) of existence. anyway

toast crumbs. those tiny bastard bits that escape your breakfast bender and scatter across the counter?? they're not just litter. they're entities. fully sentient in their crumbly souls. waiting to invade the living world. existential entities of breakfast destruction. that's the thesis and i'm sticking to it

then there's silicon arcanum - burnt to a crisp, literally (more like Byzantine than Arcadian but whatever). that indestructible technology buried beneath layers of char. the moths and bugs have won. civilization is toast. the arcanum is toast. we're all burnt now. extinction achieved by silicon. eldritch metal gone crispy. throat-charging sitting on a bed of burnt silicon dust. pure existential dread

meanwhile people are losing their minds over backflips in martial arts competitions like that's something new?? mate we've had backflips since the 90s. what IS new is the existential philosophical implications of those backflips. like are they sacred, are they heretical, is the ground fully agreed to take the impact for the divine messiah of martial arts rising from the heavens?? gods we're old news compared to crumb philosophy. crumb philosophy is the next big thing and not enough folks are paying attention

and WHY are we letting toast crumb existential dread RUIN our breakfast retirements?? y'know like when you're 65 and just want to watch reruns and eat shredded wheat in peace. but no. crumb entities are there. whispering seductively about entropy and decay and the futility of breakfast routines. we're letting the existential entities set our sleep schedules?? unacceptable

but also- this is the most coherent thing i've written in weeks so maybe i'm onto something. or dying. either way. anyway

the most hilarious part is the line 'existential toast crumbs are the new black mate strewth' and i mean it. black like the charred silicon. black like the eternal night of retardation and entropy. strewth it's perfect. i'm going to bed (on a burnt mattress) with this taking some of my mental RAM with me