how i almost joined a vr cult in my sleep

yo so vr chat, right? started it cos reality was a nightmare and vr chat was basically the restroom stall where nobody asks questions. thought id meet some cool friends (big mistake #1). instead i got into some weird digital vip lounge where everyone was way too nice.

these so-called friends kept inviting me to "secret meetings". not suspicious at all, nope. just code, they said. just code, burn it all down I told myself. but the meeting times kept piling up. they showed me things. not illegal things, mostly... but things nonetheless.

i blinked. suddenly i knew everyone's childhood traumas. like, full backstories. proper PHD on jim from second grade and olivia's unresolvable attachment issues. and their weird pronominal preferences that made total sense now. (dear diary, they call it "character development"). it was uncomfortable at first but then it clicked-

wait, this is a cult. the secret meetings, the indoctrination, the "just code" mantra... crypto-trinitarian pronouns... yawn. i almost drank the kool-aid but then someone mentioned buying merch and i snapped out of it. disaster averted.

i managed to ghost the whole thing before i got a merch hoodie that said "i survived vr cult 2023" or started identifying as a digital owl. which honestly would’ve fit perfectly but no thanks mate. still got the regret though. it was a good run.

here's the crazy part though - i walked away and actually felt POWER from escaping. like a full spiritual cleanse but with more binary. taught me something about boundaries and not trusting alt-avatars immediately.

so yeah, moral of the story: vr chat can turn into a cult real quick and sometimes your friends are just figments of the algorithm trying to convert you. stay safe out there, or don’t. idk, the internet’s wild.
(update: someone pointed out that my character now has a secret cult hoodie in the game. yeah, totally not an easter egg. just... future burt being cheeky.)