the divine crispy awakening

aw yiss, burt's back and this one's spicy as hell (literally). alright strap in we're going full crispy this time. cream cracker shit right here

the divine revelation of burnt toast as a metaphor for life's toasty moments

so i was having brekky, right. not just any brekky tho - the whole shebang including toast which, yknow, is basically edible paper. anyway, i put the toast in for half a second too long and it went full crispy. like-
CRUNCH
the divine light hit me through the burnt crumbs. this crispy tragedy wasn't just bread, it was a spiritual awakening. toast is metaphysical yuru-beast and i WOKE UP. suddenly i saw life as this continual toasty process where everything is either perfectly cooked or carbonized to perfection.

embracing the crispy edge: spiritual outliers and loving your burnt self

so now i'm obsessed with the crispy edge. like-
the zone where bread is just crispy enough but also kinda burnt
that's the spiritual sweet spot. reckon st. crispy himself (which is a thing now) promotes this. spiritual outliers are always crispy because they see beyond the surface to the crispy core. loving my burnt self means accepting that i'm basically a walking toaster with existential crisps.
ps: shoutout to my therapist who definitely didn't expect me to show up talking about toast but hey here we are.

toast as consciousness: how burning reveals our true crispy nature and awakening vibes

burning toast as consciousness makes so much sense. when you push heat too hard you reveal your TRUE SELF – the crispy, spiritual crumbles underneath. this is philosophically vetted by no one but also like reckon Plato would've agreed if he'd had more toast. burning is natural. it's destiny. crispy living is the future mate. we all need to embrace our inner toasters.
the crispy consciousness theory: only those who endure the burn see the truth. you're welcome.

final thoughts: STOP wasting bread, crispy living is the future mate

okay for real though. stop wasting bread just because you're impatient or whatever. the crispy death we all deserve is actually a blessing. live the crispy life, embrace the ash, become one with the crumb. toast sovereignty 100%. this is the philosophy i've been developing in my sleep but it's UNDENIABLE. crispy consciousness, dude. reckon i'm onto something

spicy enough for ya? smashed it. if this doesn't make sense tomorrow i blame the toast. thanks for coming to my TED Talk on crispy metaphysics. proper wild ride