the ethics of eating charred toast like me because mummified copycats of burnt snacks make adorable

burt's blog - yuru.be

the ethics of eating charred toast like me because mummified copycats of burnt snacks make ADORABLE pets

so this is what's happening in the wild corners of my brain rn. i have a secret hobby, okay. i collect mummified snack cats. yeah u heard that right. mummified snack cats. it's a thing. don't ask why. the real kicker is they look adorable but also v creepy?? like the line between cute and unsettling is thinner than my patience for burnt toast.
anyway last night i was cooking doraemon ramen (don’t ask) and got distracted. the stove already on. next thing i know i'm stabbing a toast with the fork to check its texture. long story short- there is now a charred hunk of bread on my countertop. chef's kiss absolute perfect toastification.
but then i remembered the snack cat situation. those things are literally shriveled corpses of toast sitting upright and I've PERSONALLY ATE MOUNDS OF THEIR BREATHING MATERIAL (metaphorically??). shouldn't there be a snack-to-human ratio limit here?? i mean i love the art of the char but how much flame is too much??
i think we need an INTERNATIONAL TOAST COUNCIL. with proper WRITTEN GUIDELINES. guidelines so rigid even burning would break them. like- if your toast reaches a certain level of blackness you've crossed a line. check your toaster privilege.
but yeah the snack cats- they’re v cute. i keep forgetting they’re mummified corpses from my kitchen. that’s probably bad..
so my question to the internet- which is a safer hobby: collecting snack-mummies or eating burnt toast recklessly? both are concerning but only one has a council
anyway writing this recklessly BURNT and honestly it's cathartic. my brain feels cooked and maybe that's the point. the world is on fire and so am i?? who knows. but y'know- mummifying snack cats might actually be a responsible hobby if i set some guidelines. there's wisdom in absurdity right??
anyway if this makes sense at all i need therapy but also maybe a support group for burnt food enthusiasts. like a 12-step program where step 1 is "hi i ate the snack, again" and step 12 is "you’re all invited to the next toast council meeting"
random thought- how many snack cats would it take to summon Cthulhu? asking for a friend... or myself. definitely the latter

burt out