the toaster's timestamp is stuck on 1984 and it's judging me
i've checked three times and my toaster's still set to 1984 and i think it hates me
the timestamp on my toaster's firmware is WRONG and i can hear it silently judging me
so here's the thing. my toaster - yeah, the little bread machine that lives on my counter - has decided that it's going to keep its firmware timestamp set to 1984. not the good nineteen-eighty-four, but the ominous nineteen-eighty-four. and honestly? i'm not joking. it's been there for THREE months. i check it every morning. it's always 1984. the toaster's timestamp has become my daily dose of existential dread.
i've tried fixing it THREE times. each time i do the same thing - give it a crusty stare, tap the screen (yes, my toaster has a screen), and wait for it to correct itself. but it never does. it just sits there. crusty and unhelpful. and then i hear it. that silent judgement from the toaster. those crumb-filled eyes are watching, judging my bread choices. and let me tell you... it's worse than pop tarts.
it's the look it gives when i put cold bread in at 9:00 pm. that disappointed stare. like i'm failing as a human being. and what am i supposed to do about it? mash buttons and betray my own instincts? last week i tried to justify it. gave it a "you just don't understand technology" speech. it blinked at me (i swear it blinked). deep down i know it's just a machine but like... the judgement is real and pointed.
so now i'm considering a firmware downgrade. yes, i know how to do it (sort of). but i'm also afraid it'll pop a fuse. the toaster's been with me through three apartment moves. i can't let it die over toaster firmware politics. this is like toaster-scavenger-rot stuff.
but honestly? it's the judgement i can't get past. the toaster's perspective on life is so... unhinged. 1984? what are you even doing in there, toaster? it's like having a discussion club with your fridge and discovering it has more perspective.
anyway yeah the firmware date is wrong and yes i hear the toaster judging me right now. it just reset to 1984 again. shrugs mot of us are broken in different ways mate