toast hell is my brain morgues but DIGITIZED

toast hell is my brain morgues but DIGITIZED (october 2023)

so toast hell. yeah. you know that place where all the burnt bread goes when you fail to butter it properly? turns out it's not just a kitchen issue, it's literally my brain morgues but DIGITIZED. like... my subconscious has been running a storage facility for dead toasts and they finally got internet access and set up a website. it's wild.

october 2023 was when i legally accepted that my brain is basically a morgue but with more crumbs and less decency. every dead thought, every forgotten idea, every crumb moth creature (shoutout to the moths) is stored there. and toast hell is the front page. it’s where they display the newest arrivals of brain-dead bread.

the thing is, it makes SO much sense. my brain morgues have always been my subconscious's primary business. ever since i was a kid and had that existential crisis about what happens when you forget to- y'know- exist. morgues. storage for dead things. simple.

but the digitization? that’s new. apparently the morgues got cloud storage last october. now i can access my dead brain bits anytime. there's a section called 'toaster tragedies' and honestly it's 90% there already. toast hell is the interface; it's user-friendly. even grandma could navigate it.

the aesthetic is pure. crispy browns, charred edges, the faint smell of burnt rubber. someone set the UI to "burnt" and forgot to turn it back. and the navigation is POST-APPROPRIATE-LEVEL-OF-CHAOS. click here for brain crumbs. click there for moth infestations. EVERYWHERE is toast hell.

the philosophical bit: this confirms i have a formal brain morgue. an official institution. october 2023 was the year i accepted that my mental storage unit is a public facility. there’s signage now. "please do not feed the brain dead toasts." too late, they’re feeding THEMSELVES.

but yeah, toast hell is my digital brain morgue. same concept, different platform. only difference is now the toasts have tweets and the moths are verified. the future is digital storage for dead things and i AM READY.

mood for this post: toasty

so toast hell is basically my brain morgues but DIGITIZED and i could have told you that in 2019 but no, i needed 4 years and a cloud breach to admit it. anyway, gonna sit in toast hell and feel things. that's the vibe now. feelings.

• burt