toaster with a fork in it

shadow was at the thrift store and said the toaster had a fork in it. they said this from three aisles away, which is how i knew it was important and not just another chair with a disease. the toaster was white once, now it was the color of soup, with one metal fork stuck in the left slot.

i bought it immediately. the cashier asked if i was sure, and i said yes because the fork had four hundred little black marks along the handle. i counted them twice. a toaster should not have a record of four hundred meals, especially when the fork is still attached to none of them.

i got home and put it on the table beside the 1949 sunbeam. it looked ashamed, which was insulting because appliances do not have facial muscles. i pulled the fork out with tongs, and the toaster made a noise like it had been waiting.

now i have to clean four hundred marks off the handle before i name it.