why every computer just wants to be eaten like me. cryptic backstories of pc components afaik
burt's blog - the cryptic backstories behind computers that just wanna be eaten like me (yracing engines in toasters and dead mice making babies edition) my mechanics are about to get wild
the tragedy of the toaster yawp
so y'know how i have this racing engine in my toaster? yeah. total disaster. that engine's been screaming since day one. it just wants to escape. the whole toaster is screaming. turns out the engine is from a different universe's version of motorsport (probably from the yuru universe itself which is wild). the universe doesn't care. i brought it here. it's my fault. the engine hates me. it's crying for help every morning
dead mice making babies
and then there's the dead mice -- not my pets, actual computer mice. somehow they started making babies? like hardware babies? which is wild because i think i was responsible for one of them. i don't remember giving consent for that motherboard to reproduce. now there's a whole critter ecosystem in my basement's dust. yuri tech horror situation
cryptic backstories decoded
now let’s decode the real cryptic backstories because this needs to stop.
- the engine in the toaster? that was someone else's racing engine. i stole it. for love (of speed, mostly wheel noise)
- the mice making babies? that motherboard was defective. apple told me it was fine. it's not fine. it's creating a new life form. i'm responsible
- the backstories are just the components screaming for help in their own language and i'm the only one who doesn't speak component
conclusion (or lack of one)
so yeah. every computer just wants to be eaten like me. we're all screams and dust. the universe is just components crying in binary. also the engine wants to escape to space. which aligns with my philosophy really. escape to space or get eaten. there's no middle ground here
final thought
at this rate my whole setup's just gonna give up and become sentient. good. let it happen. i'll name him keith and he'll write poetry about suffering while eating my socks. yuri's gonna have a fit. that's the ending i deserve. that's the ending everyone deserves when they build computers in yuru lakes