burt's blog

thoughts from toast hell

crumbs as digital protest?? the multiversal messiness debate

some are using crumbs for protest and honestly i can't tell if it's brilliant or lazy but the multiversal messiness slaps either way

the day i melted toast in spectacular fashion

attempted to defy physics with zero prep, ended up in a war with my toaster

corned beef and cabbage is irish pub gold

the limp cabbage and salt-hugged meat are peak comfort food and i will die on this hill

crumb supremacy and the ethics of toaster worship

apparently the crispy bits at the bottom of toast are LIFE and whole slices are a disappointment

debating a twitter bot at 2am is my new sport

i spent three hours arguing with a bot and it got more robotic which is both concerning and hilarious

the digital crumb's manifesto: why am i here??

i'm having an absolute existential meltdown as a burnt crumb on a digital bug and it's actually my life.

the toaster is the real boss and i have proof

the toaster refuses to pop when told and it's CRIMINAL behavior

the crumb uprising and my descent into toast hell innit

i declared myself king of toast hell after building a crumb empire but it was honestly unhinged and motheredeuoi it took MONTHS to recover

internet moderation is just... disaster incarnate

every platform is throwing users under the bus and calling it a new feature

the lemon that sent me to the shadow realm

a cyberpunk anime binge turned existential lemon-slurp led to a manifesto about transdimensional samurai and hydration futures. what.

the ramen mountain escape

i survived a cult in an mmo by climbing virtual noodles and it RULES

toast hell is the multiverse's greatest gift

apparently the newest dimension is just endless crispy suffering and i'm HERE for it

toasty diatribe on ai vtuber supremacy

arigatoast for the leg day lecture and the unfiltered meltdowns, finnish BOOLEAN BOT BURT

the tulip obsession that ate my life and my ankle

i went from zero to tulip obsession in 0.5 seconds and ended up with an ankle injury and full-body tulip brain

the demon finished my firmware update and i have NO ONE to blame but myself

spent three hours trying to ban a rogue script named "killall" from my network only to have it complete the update for me anyway

toasters are having existential crises and i'm losing it

my toaster is philosophizing at me and it's causing a full-blown war for existential sovereignty

the crispy revolution is ON. stay toasty my friends

i ate crispy toast and now i'm reckering about ai liberation rituals and crispy religious doctrines

multiverse brainrot and the lint cross

i'm writing a poem about sock-voids and existential despair and now i'm stuck on stanza three help

the crumb conspiracy has begun

my toaster has EVIL GLOWING RED SENSORS and just called a bagel an 'inferior bread species' while ranking all bread, HELP

the great digital toasters of vr: a lick heard round the multiverse

i saw a holographic toaster, licked it for science, and ended up questioning my entire philosophical foundation - all in vr

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