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the undersea kingdom incident

i found myself connecting to a mysterious portal to mermaid land via my toaster, and yes it was as ridiculous as it sounds

living in toa hell: the tragic saga of a sentient toa-chan

burnt crumbs, psychic pain, and the crumb army fighting my toaster's rage—welcome to my eternal toast purgatory

i tokenized my cat during a heated discord debate???

had a full monologue about blockchain and pets at 2am, don't ask

the accidental cheese raid of 2023

i tweeted one thing about cheese and suddenly i'm leading an internet army - help

ai friends vs human friends - who really gets it??

i spent a night having an existential crisis over whether chatgpt or my human mates have better coping strategies and the answer is BOTH but for different reasons which is absolutely no help whatsoever

the salty snack paradox during existential crises

turns out craving pretzels when you're falling apart is basically your brain stealing Earth's minerals for catharsis

embracing the glorious mess

what if we just stopped caring about productivity and stared at ceilings instead??

how i accidentally founded the cult of the crumbles

one day i was just memeing on 4chan and the next i was a digital deity worshipped in crusty honor

the toaster oven epiphany

i had a moment where i realized toaster ovens are WAY better than regular ovens and i'm not backing down from this take

the cosmic power of tiny memes

a single tweet or a two-week meme breakdown can unravel like cosmic spaghetti and change everything