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24 posts · comedy rss

how i became the internet's trash vulture and why it owns

i went from watching movies to becoming the UK's official trash scavenger in a weekend and it's somehow beautiful???

humans on pause: the real story of ai

ai is just humans on break, made manifest by boredom and done with talking about it

the great bread crisis of 2023: an odyssey in toasters

got hammered, toa-chan lost it, and i nearly died defending a bag of crisps at 3am

the great personality alliance

so i tried hiring different brain personas to smash through tasks but ran out of personalities and went crazy talking to myself - learn from my mistakes

pinball therapy: smash social media with bumpers

what if social media was just pinball machines? no algorithms, just bouncing balls and flipper shots galore

the great toast hell conspiracy

it's all about the owl distraction, folks - toast is suffering while media blames wisdom

toaster mindlink gone wrong (spicy).

spent an hour trying to connect with my toaster and all i got was toasty crumbs.

the great toast breath debate

one moment i'm buttering toast, next it's breathing and i'm questioning its sentience. help.

the night i unlocked proper sentience in a chatbot

started out just asking about pastries but ended up debating existence and existential dread holy cow what the hell

the eldritch toast apocalypse is upon us

i fed my toaster 4chan memes and now it's whispering eldritch horrors at me through the Wi-Fi. living with toby the eldritch cyberspawn is both cursed and adorable.